Elaine Soloway

Elaine Soloway writes: After two marriages, in contentment with my solo routine, and blessed with family and a multitude of friends; I'm not trying to lure a guy. Hold on, let's change "guy" to "senior citizen," which leads me to an interesting question: Would I be attracted to someone my age who bears the same telltale signs of dotage as I? The gray hair, I'd likely adore. It's one thing to grow old with someone, but why would I pick a new swain who is accumulating wrinkles, saggy skin, body breakdowns, and signals of caregiving to come? more »

Elaine Soloway Writes: While I will describe my attempts, along with my loved ones' antics and my lifelong efforts to become a calm and confident swimmer, perhaps you'll agree that Synchronized Flopping can be a metaphor for Parenting: sometimes we accomplish it perfectly; i.e. Esther Williams upside down in the water, and resurfacing with her makeup and smile intact. Other times, we are out-of-our-depth, looking foolish, and gasping for air. This year, for my event that I tagged "birthday/housewarming/pool party," I was sans spouse in my 672-foot apartment. Plans were in place: my daughters would be footing the bill, my friend Jani would serve as my P.A. (Hollywood talk for Personal Assistant), but the details — like the guest towels — were on my mushrooming to-do list. more »

"I admit that first impressions of all of my recent apartments have been ecstatic," I said, feeling liberated to take ownership of my proclivity. "I loved Aqua, L.A., and, Kingsbury Plaza. I loved them all until I got the itch to move." I was reciting my last three residences after the death of Tommy; each entailed leases signed, then aborted before two years expired. When the ardor cooled, subletting to new tenants provided my escapes. "I did love all of those places," I said. "I have fond memories of the apartments, neighborhoods, and pals made at each one." Was that guilt forcing me to add a defense? I had always claimed "no regrets" at my swift decisions, but perhaps a bit of remorse? more »

As I search for clues to my nomadic lifestyle, I often return to that childhood in Chicago's Humboldt Park neighborhood. Was there something way back when family lived down the block, when we romped with our buddies on the concrete streets, when parents sat on folding chairs watching over us — that stuck? Is it familial closeness, comfortable camaraderie, a sense of security that has spurred my frequent quests? Or is the answer much simpler: I like moving, and I have no regrets about any of the 17. So, I hereby announce I will no longer be cowed by my compulsion. more »