In the Foothills of the Pyrenees, Carrie Hill; Birmingham Museum of Art. Gift of Birmingham, Alabama Art Club
My husband’s death was not a sudden event. It should not have been such a shock, but it was.
Prostate cancer had been diagnosed in early 2012, and had advanced into his bones. It was aggressive. We knew there would be no happy ending. There was no question of a cure.
Even with all this knowledge, eighteen months of watching him suffer, caring for him pretty much alone, the loss for me was enormous. Far, far worse than I could have imagined.
I found myself completely unprepared for the final goodbye. Perhaps because for twenty two years, it had been, in a way, just us. Of course we had friends and family, but we had chosen, in some people's eyes, a very different life.
We were two romantics, lovers of France, who met in the 1990's, retired early and ten years later, sold up and went to live in the foothills of the Pyrenees. Life was idyllic and my writing about it featured in newspapers, magazines, journals, even a couple of books. Particularly popular with American readers was my Blog. Many contacted me, became virtual friends. I've plans to meet them eventually.
Our good life continued until, in December 2012, Larry felt unable to face the future in France. He suddenly announced he must return to Ireland. Explaining his need to be 'among family and old friends', he convinced himself life would be better there.
He never convinced me. The decision shocked me, filled me with misery and despair. But how could I argue? Larry was the one with the appalling diagnosis.
Weeks before, we had gone down to Portugal for the winter, but Larry hated it, endlessly compared it to France. So we headed back up north, through Portugal, Spain and up the west coast of France to La Rochelle. We had intended, in the future, to leave the Pyrenees and move there. I thought this presented a good opportunity to look around, make a plan for the future. But Larry's decision to return to Ireland cancelled all French plans. Four days later we boarded the ferry.
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