It’s exasperating. You can’t go anywhere or do anything these days without being assailed by sales pitches.
Has my memory failed me (again!) or wasn’t cable TV originally supposed to be commercial-free? We would pay a fee but would be able to enjoy some entertainment uninterrupted by advertising. I can’t substantiate this from experience. It’s not because I’m too young to remember the introduction of cable (I wish), but my family couldn’t afford it. In fact, we were among the last in the neighborhood to acquire a TV set and were happy to be able to access only the three major networks on our black and white nine-inch marvel. It was such a miracle that we enjoyed even the commercials.
It wasn’t long before the novelty wore off, however, and annoyance at the ads set in. So we’d occasionally escape to the movies where we could be assured that no one, animated or human, would appear on the screen prior to the double feature trying to sell us something. Not any more. These days, if we’re foolish enough to arrive fifteen minutes early, our eyes and ears are assaulted by images on the giant screen of obscenely overpriced buckets of popcorn, jumbo candy bars, and kiddie-pool-sized sodas, accompanied by deafening jingles urging us to visit the concession stands before the movie starts. Actually, not a totally bad idea. At least we’d miss some of the commercials that follow for the local car dealers, banks, nail salons, food markets, and a mélange of other merchants.
So now may we see the movie please? Not yet, first we have to watch the teaser trailers featuring the loudest, most violent, bloody and/or pornographic scenes from at least a dozen coming attractions (that’s what we called the previews in the old days). And when the feature finally starts, the commercials don’t end, thanks to "product placement" — the relatively new practice of focusing the camera on various items — a can of Coke in the leading lady’s hand ... a bottle of Budweiser on the bar ... a BMW logo on the car driving up to the Hard Rock Café ...
It never stops. Advertising is invading every aspect of life. Even the once-hallowed Super Bowl has become more famous for its half-time commercials than its touchdowns. We are constantly bombarded by promotion, either blatant or subliminal, wherever we turn: in magazines and newspapers, fliers stuffed in our mailboxes and under our windshield wipers, billboards by the roadside, pop-ups whenever we turn on our computers, designer logos on our clothes and handbags (we actually pay big bucks to promote their stuff!); ads splattered on the outside (as well as inside) of buses — and soon on cars, according to rumor. I hope it’s not true, but I recently heard that advertisers will pay you to allow them to paint garish ads on the family sedan or SUV.
Do you want to ride around in a vehicle proclaiming the soothing benefits of Preparation H? Before you say no, find out how much they’ll shell out to you. You may change your mind. What’s next? Ads covering your home … painted on your kids’ backpacks …broadcast in your voicemail greeting …?
As for the afore-mentioned TV fare, all the obnoxious, hard-sell infomercials are bad enough; but the half-dozen or more commercials crammed between increasingly shorter segments of so-called entertainment shows are almost worse. In addition, the programs themselves have degenerated into nothing more than glorified plug-fests, with every guest touting his or her latest book, movie, CD, or upcoming personal appearance. Okay, I admit it. Sour grapes. I’m angry because I’m never invited on those shows, so I don’t have a platform to promote my books (which are available in bookstores and online). Okay, I did it, too — sneaked in a commercial while I’m supposed to be entertaining you. Sorry, but until I’m invited to join the ladies on The View, I have no other recourse.
Where is it all going to end?
When I meet Saint Peter, I won’t be surprised if he’s waving a banner declaring,
“Use Paradise Paste For a Pearly Gates Smile!”
©2011 Rose Madeline Mula for SeniorWomen.com
Rose Mula's most recent book, 
The Beautiful People and Other Aggravations is now available at your favorite bookstore, through Amazon.com and other online bookstores, and through Pelican Publishing (800-843-1724), as is her previous book, If These Are Laugh Lines, I'm Having Way Too Much Fun.
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