A Grandmother by Any Other Name by Julia Sneden

Julia Sneden: A Grandmother by Any Other Name

Vice President and Mrs. Bush at their summer home in Kennebunkport, Maine with their family - NARA. George Bush Library, August 22, 1987. Photographer David Valdez

by Julia Sneden

Over the river and through the woods,
To Grandfather’s house we go…

I never knew either of my grandfathers, but one of life’s better blessings was growing up in a household that included both my grandmothers. There was Grandma, my father’s mother, and Grandabbie, my maternal grandmother. I was the youngest child, so I had no part in the naming of Grandma, who had lived with my parents since shortly after they married. I assume she chose the appellation, and my brother, obedient and verbal child that he was, simply picked it up.

The name Grandabbie, however, was my own invention. Before she came to live with us, my mother’s mother lived next door to a lively band of six nieces and nephews who called her Aunt Abbie. By the time I was two or so, I had become enamored of that whole crew, and whatever the glamorous older cousins did, I wanted to do also. One day I joined in a conversation and referred to my Grandmother as Aunt Abbie, whereat several of them pounced on me.

“She’s not your aunt,” one of them said. “You can’t call her Aunt Abbie,” said another. I remember feeling crushed, but I don’t remember how I came up with the solution of combining Grandmother and Abbie into what was to become her label for life. From that time on, we called her Grandabbie, and so did all our friends and most of our neighbors. Poor Grandabbie: she used to tell me: “All my life, I looked forward to being called Grandmother. It’s a beautiful word. But then,” she would sigh, “I hadn’t reckoned with you.”

Sometimes grandmothers are named before the kids get a chance at it. We continued the tradition of Grandabbie’s name by referring to my own mother as Grandmary, when our children came along. At first it felt artificial to us, but obviously the kids never questioned it, because she’s Grandmary to this day.

Sometimes children themselves come up with their own versions of Grandma. I’ve heard: Nana, Nama, Bama, (pronounced Bahma), Meemah, Mammaw, Mimi, Grammy, Granny, and even Gummah. There’s also the Mama Jane type of variation, and even (thank you Tennessee Williams) Big Mama.

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Julia Sneden: A Grandmother by Any Other Name

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